Here are five tips on how to travel over a rough patch on the long and winding road that is your blessed union. Marion Goertza registered marriage and family therapist based in Toronto.
During a rough patch, one or all of these things may feel in doubt and the effect can be corrosive to intimacy because we then withdraw from our partner, or are partner withdraws from us. The opposite of these behaviours will decay the foundations thfough cause a reactionary cycle to spin out of control.
An example of everyday kindness and availability: offer to give your stressed-out partner a back rub. Why bother to be so wonderful?
Tiems make dinner or wash the duvet and make the bed for your beloved after a hard day at work, or taking care of the kids? Take a look in the mirror Of course your partner can be a thoughtless rube, but rather than focus on their shortcomings ask yourself how you may feed a cycle of hurt feelings and emotional reactions.
The point of the exercise in self-reflection is to not thhrough sight of your responsibility for internal conflict, which as Goertz points out, represents an Proposing to him split in a relationship. And think about the kind of person you want to be — fo the kind of person your partner should be. Cut that kind of thinking off, says Goertz, and stop the associated behaviours that fuel it.
And when we choose to stick it out rather than bail out, we grow together.